The Annie Method

I found it hard to believe
it could have possibly mattered
but lately, it feels like it does.
As the smoke haze that this summer has been
vanishes on the breeze
I’m suddenly feeling alone.

Alone is fine, because truth be told
I’m never actually alone.
I’m told I’m a popular girl.
But alone in a crowd is very much worse
that any alone I’ve encountered
I’m sorry, but truth must be told.

Alone is a feeling of
shame and of lostness
and a ache that will never go down.
It’s a perpetual 2 am
deep in the soul.
It’s the dark hour, over again.

I guess I should have not
wished so hard, thinking I
was so independent.
But the days are just ash
crumbling in my fingers
to a soundtrack of wine’s heady laughter.